Week 5 Fall out at Graceland Beaver Dam Stadium, Full Blown 3 Alarm Panic, Alamo Style!

Week 5 Fall out at Graceland Beaver Dam

Trying to save money on consolation by using our mail boy was a complete train wreck and resulted in a humiliating loss this past week.  Upper management was furious and mortgaged every asset to get the best expert advice before kick-off week 6 to turn this season around before it is too late! 

For those of you that don’t know, Elvis fought with Uncle Ted at the Alamo when the Mexicans came across the border and tried to take Uncle Ted’s guns.  Contrary to what you were taught in grade school, they all fought together against the Mexican onslaught, so they go way back!  (That should tell you everything you need to know about those government run brainwashing centers they call “schools”!)  So Elvis asked Uncle Ted for help to salvage this season,  He was quick to return the favor and wasted no time giving advice.  No one gets it done better or faster than Ted Nugent!

Ted’s first advice is to change the team’s image.  Week 5 image of the Posse’, in Ted’s own words, “you looked like a bunch of losers” last week.  So we needed to refresh our image and re-invent ourselves, try and look not like losers.  Just like Ted did….when he was younger.  This is just the start of Ted’s expert advice and we might reveal more as we head into week 6.  Look out Lead Slingers!  Sweaty Teddy knows a thing or two about slinging lead too!

Uncle Ted informed us he was a Chiefs Fan.

And NOT a Bear's Fan!

Remember the Alamo!

It's not going to happen again this week!

Week 3 Predictions

Carlos Danger is just that, Danger...ous!  You will be mesmerized with his catfish or hog hunting stories thinking....this guy can't possibly manage a professional fantasy team and that's when he strikes!  With the EBP spies working overtime scouting his team this week, we won't fall for the trap, again..... EBP wins 3 in a row by 20 points.

SC Stormtrooper hopes will be dashed again as they go win-less into week 4 losing to the heavily favored God Graham It!  God Graham It can count on a big contribution from Dez Bryant this week and Mr Blount and will win despite a struggling Russel Wilson.  God Graham It wins by 12 pts.

SC Stormtroopers Hopes Dashed

Trey City gets their first win Week 3 while keeping the Lead Slingers in the losers bracket. Look for Cam to under perform when he hits the buzz-saw defense that is the Minnesota Vikings.  This will be the pivotal moment where the Lead Slingers will snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!  Lead Slingers success depends heavily on the QB position.  Trey City by 18.

New to the league, the Kangaroo Smashers are putting both feet forward and jump all over Show Me Your TDs in Week 3.  Both clubs suffered some heavy losses in Week 2 but the loss of AP will be much harder to overcome than Woodhead.  Look for Phillip Rivers to have a great showing and Crowell coming off the bench this week to save the day.  Smashers by 21.

Kangaroo Smashers Smash Show Me Your TDs

Your Blumin' looks to take another fall this week waiting for his boy Brady to put the Deflate Gate behind him.  DeAndre Hopkins and the Green Bay D looks to score big for KeepPounding88 in week 3.  This one will be a close one and could go either way but the old dried up bones predict KeepPounding88 by 7.5 points.

Laces Out Dan! has taken the PSA Rifle Crew league by storm this year and has proven himself to be a worthy competitor week to week.  Beats by Ray will be receiving a Beat Down in Week 3 unless he pulls a Beaver out of his hat!  Laces Out Dan! stays focused on the price and wins the Blowout of the Week Award.

The Beat Down will look something like this...

Alex's Team and You Can't BS a BSer is a toss up this week and will come down to who plays and who sits.  Without a clear starting line up or depth on the bench from both teams, we brewed a cup of tea with these tea leaves!  Expect this one to be settled within a 10 point spread either way but Alex does have the better record!  Edge goes to Alex's Team but it will be close!

Week 2 Recap and Update.....farewell Ric! Welcome...."Unidentified Mail-room Guy"!

Week 2 Recap:  The Posse won a close one on the road at the SC Trooper’s Death Sstar Stadium last week.   It was down to the wire and every single point was needed!  If it wasn’t for Team Matt, (Ryan and Forte), who know how bad it could have been!  The Posse took the lead Thursday night and never looked back despite under performing (but thinner) Lacy, Baldwin, some guy at tight end, and a worthless Jets Defense

For those of you following the Posse Blog this year you will notice fewer and fewer postings.  This is mostly due to a new strategy by upper management to keep more game time decisions private.  Last year was the first year of the organization’s existence and we failed to make the playoffs but learned from our mistakes and have reloaded for the 2016 season.  We felt like we shared too much information with the public last year and our competition used it to their advantage.  (like stealing the wheels off the bus when we traveled to the notorious Trey City causing us to be late to the game)  Many back at Graceland blamed our missing the playoffs on this open style of communication, so this year we are a little more tight-lipped despite the excessively large teeth.

One personnel change to mention was the firing of Ric Flair this week.  As you know from our first pre-season posting, we hired Ric as a consultant to help make the team more competitive this year and we have started the year 2-0, knocking off the 2015 league champion Trey City and those nasty Troopers all while capturing first place!  Ric (and Trey City) even helped us win an award in week 1!  Ric has done a great job for us and we wish him all the best.  However some of his starter recommendations last week were poor and caused the game to be too close for comfort!  The EBP bench almost outscored the starters!  Just like we stated, we would be finding new insightful minds this year, BEFORE we started losing games to ensure a playoff position!

Due to this season’s quick success, we have had to upgrade the security here at Graceland Beaver Dam Stadium.  We have so many people wanting to work for the organization we can’t keep them out, and yes if your wondering, we had to place a restraining order on Tim Tebow!  Geezzz that guy!  I guess success has many fathers!  Below is some security photos of the bums trying to get into the stadium.

With the increased costs of extra security, success has provided the Posse many challenges.  The latest causality of this success was the celebrity consultant budget!  Bottom line was, we could no longer afford Ric!  As a result we were forced to look inside the organization for guidance going into week 3.  We can’t release his name yet as he is scouting competitors incognito and we want to maintain his cover.  Below are some intelligence pictures of his recent reconnaissance operations in the field. 

Well its that time of year again

Last year was the first year of The Elvis Beaver Posse franchise.  As many know we are not an ordinary orthodox group.  You can read last year's blog postings and re-live the first year challenges of the team.  We never re-evaluated our strategy of bringing in consultants from outside the football world to guide and mentor the team.  Heck, our coach and general manager is Elvis!  Not exactly known for his football knowledge, but no need to re-evaluate!  This year we are in discussions with other outsiders to consult on the ever changing situations a football team faces throughout the season.  Case in point, last year we saw a surge in moral by bring Gene Simmons into the organization.  However this surge wasn't enough to carry the team into the playoffs and fizzled out quicker than the make up on Gene's face.  So this year our plans are to bring in new folks to keep the momentum going and fire them as soon as we lose a game (assuming we actually lose a game this year).  The consultant position back at Graceland will be filled and refilled on a week by week basis.  This should keep the team fresh, on their toes, and provide a multi-focus approach to building a Fantasy Empire.

The current rumor mill has Ric Flair (that's right! from the old WWF) roaming the halls of Graceland Stadium looking at the potential draft picks this year and helping with the overall draft strategy.  So far in mock drafts, the Posse has improved from a C+ projected 9th place to an A- projected 3rd place under Flair's guidance. We shall see, we shall see!

Welcome home Ric.....Welcome home to Graceland!

Discussing draft strategy and working on some new cords.